That time I spent the whole of Tuesday worrying that I might have been fatally poisoned by a foul-tasting, Wimpy waffle.
It was tragic. In fact, I don't think I've had such strong feelings about a planty mishap since the alpine strawberry harvest of 2014.
May your holiday celebrations be like fermenting cabbage and decaying fruit peels (but in a good way).
Some days, no matter how much you love a person, you just want to dump their thousandth pot of curry in the trash bin and smack them with a well-made pierogi.
How being in a relationship makes me think of flame throwers and dental floss.