People and their varying relationships with organized religion, as explained by food

Having studied theology I’ve had the opportunity to converse with a lot of people about their belief systems, or I should say, to observe people’s (often unnecessarily exaggerated) interactions with religion. After listening to many a rant to and for the institution (perhaps too many delivered before lunchtime), I have mostly decided that the whole subject makes much more sense if charged terms like “liberal,” “conservative,” “sinner” and “saved” are left out altogether of sweeping generalizations and replaced with terms from food preparation. Here’s what I mean:

First you have the bakers. They follow a pre-written recipe, measure all ingredients to standard, and spend many a sleepless night worrying that your delicate souffle of a soul is going to sink like a chasm in hell if you don’t whip your whites into shape.

Then come the cooks. They add a pinch of salt to everything and are pretty confident that even with a few substitutions and omissions, the family will eat it anyway.

Next come the carry-out crowd, who take what they’re given and don’t really worry about where it comes from.

And lastly come the critics, who usually forgo eating altogether because the cooks are too casual, the carry-outs too boring, and the bakers can’t seem to count to twelve.

Bon appetit.

P.S. Are there any foodies, I’ve missed? As they say, at the table all are welcome.*

*But in that one case when the person has no manners, or in that other case, that one time….Maybe no…no, yes… Am I sacrificing conviction for politeness? Yes. Is that a “Yes” for the second or the third question in the postscript? …Yes. 🙂